The Scientific NBA Rankings (331 to 489): The Dregs of Humanity

“The TV business is uglier than most things. It is normally perceived as some kind of cruel and shallow money trench through the heart of the journalism industry, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs, for no good reason.” – Hunter S. Thompson, Generation of Swine

Editor Dre here: As you’ve noticed I make Arturo put in his best chart at the top and then let him explain. On to Arturo!

ESPN had an good idea. Take every player in the NBA, establish a set of parameters for evaluating them (104 “experts” giving them points from 1-10 and averaging them) and count them down over a period of time.

I approve. It’s a great way to pass the time while waiting for Football season to begin. Being who we are however, we decided to be super robust in our method and criteria for evaluating players (it has a touch of personality too, as it’s based on my opinions). My criteria is as follows:

  • Rank every player based on eight categories:
    • Totals for: Wins Produced, Point Margin (from Points over Par), Wins Produced from Offensive stats, Wins Produced from defensive stats. This rewards the players that were the most valuable in total for their teams
    • Per minute numbers for :Wins Produced, Point Margin (from Points over Par), Wins Produced from Offensive stats, Wins Produced from defensive stats. This rewards the players that were the most productive regardless of playing time or injury. The one caveat is that a 400 minute minimum has been imposed for all players.
  • Using those eight ranks, average the player ranking in each category and rank players based on who had the best average ranking. This will give you a ranking on players based on their all around performance.

Now, I will of course parcel this out over a few days. I’ll give you the rankings for this year in order and I’ll pepper in a whole bunch of bonus feature. I’ll even end with my first full season projection with a shocking surprise at the top of the standings.

For today? We will start at the bottom and work our way up. In other words, Charlotte Bobcats come on down.

This was not accidental

There are ten 2012 Bobcats on that list followed by 9 Suns, 8 Cavaliers and 8 Pistons.This should not be a surprise. Our Bobcat friends in particular show no particular aptitude for anything.

Let’s focus on the players that have actually moved year on year.

Lamar Odom leads the list but I suspect a return to LA will see a return to form (unless of course it’s Kris Jenner’s fault). Patrick Patterson seems the victim of a sophmore jinx. Magloire, Kenyon Martin, Brian Cardinal, Kurt Thomas, Hedo Turkoglu, Michael Redd, John Salmons, Grant Hill, Nazr Mohammed, Rashard Lewis, Baron Davis, Tayshaun Prince and Drew Gooden all seem to be in that final downhill slide out of the league.

Draw your own conclusions for the rest.

Self Explanatory (Image courtesy of xkcd.com)

Finally, the data is publicly available for your perusal in a google doc:

NBA Rank data

Of course the spoilers and easter eggs are all hidden.

For now.

-Arturo

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